WELCOME
- I arranged this afternoon just for a chance for us to meet up
somewhere that is nota funeral! I have a called the event gratitude
so what does it mean to me.
To
me true gratitude is a feeling, not just a thought like saying
thanks. When I was child i had to write thank you letters to Uncles
and Aunts that had sent me a Christmas or birthday present. If I
hold the door open for somebody I expect them to say thanks. We say
thanks to waitresses and bus drivers. In Spain I say "Grassias"
and they answer "De Nada" - it's nothing.
I am not saying
we should not say thanks like that, but it's not like true gratitude
- like "Thank God that didn't happen".
It's
not always easy to feel Gratitude.
I remember 16 or so
months ago, saying "The Universe has treated me well".
Whether that was some higher power, passed soul, Karma or good
luck, I never really felt Gratitude. I had a purpose - looking after
Lesley. I had a great rented bungalow to live in. I had my health,
my friends and some money.
I
never felt Gratitude though.
I forgot that pendulums swing both ways.
I lost Lesley when she passed - that cut deeply.
I had to move house.
Then I got ill. I caught covid in September. Last October. I went for two weeks to Italy with Jacqui and suffered a suspected heart attack due to physical and mental exhaustion. I was hospitalised for five days and ended up spending aaltogether ten weeks in Italy with my Goddaughter, Melissa, and her family
This year in April I went back to Italy again and suffered the loss of sight in my left eye due to a
detached retina, and had an eye operation. I spent another ten weeeks in Italy recovering before coming back by train.
And I did ask why? What had I done to deserve that?
It
took a kick to make me feel gratitude for what I still had - my other
eye, my friends and my health was nowhere near as bad as it is for
many and I am getting better.
People ask "how are you?. I
say "not too bad, or fine, even if i don't feel it". "It
could be worse!" "I should say "Do you really want
to know? Where shall I start. Well. when I was four years old "
Then the story of the good and bad that happened.
The
swing of the pendulum of events is inevitable - we are born and
inevitably die and we need to try to focus on enjoying life in
between and feeling Gratitude for or to whoever or whatever.
PREM
RAWAT said QUOTE "Gratitude is the highest expression But it
can only happen when there is truly a reason for it. If you’re not
thankful…? Just by saying it, it’s empty. What are you thankful
for in your life? And it’s, Oh, I am thankful for so many
things. I am thankful for my family; I am thankful for my job; I am
thankful for this, and I’m thankful for that. I have to say
Really, are you thankful for being alive? Are you?
"How
many times during the day do you say, My goodness! I am alive.
Thank you for this life” END QUOTE
True
Gratitude allows us to appreciate all that we have been given. Gratitude for my life and for your lives and the BREATH that keeps
us going - and gratitude for knowing those that I have known and who
are no longer with us.
I
will read a few
poems
,
RIVER ALIVE,
I CAN
SEE YOU and POSITIVITY
The first poem, River Alive,
is the story of my life, and I wrote it whilst sitting besides a
river near the village of Aru in Kashmir in 1972.
RIVER ALIVE!
Whether we
laugh, or whether we cry,
the river of
life goes rushing by,
down the
hills and mountain sides,
into
valleys, long and wide,
towards the
ocean that is its goal,
it's journey
travelled by our soul.
When I was
but little boy,
the river
rippled and dashed with joy,
and as I
grew and longed to learn,
the river
for the ocean yearned.
As young man
travelled round the world,
the river
twisted, turned and twirled,
eager to
find it's resting place,
eager to
travel in time and space.
And as the
seeking man grew older,
the river
found the bigger boulders,
but on it
travelled without care,
it knew it's
destiny's not there.
The rushing
water's now quite slow,
the river
old has nothing to show,
it's
happiness is calm and deep,
as old man
takes his final sleep.
The ocean
that is never ending,
is to the
sky it's waters lending,
to rain
again on mountain top,
to make sure
life's rivers never stop.
The rivers
message lies in this
Ocean of
Mercy, Peace and Bliss.
I
CAN SEE YOU
I
can see your shadow in the sun.
I can see you, since time itself
began.
I can see you on that empty chair.
I know you’re
always there.
You
may have passed from my direct sight.
You may have travelled to
that divinest light.
Yet I see you rustling in the trees.
Yet
I see you in the buzzing bees.
You
went before me, travelled on.
Yet I hear you in every loving
song.
I never thought so soon you'd go.
You never went, I
truly know.
I
can see you in my mind.
In my heart it's you I find.
My
time will come, I'll see you there.
And peace and bliss I know
we'll share.
POSITIVITY
(2015)
Always to be
found in this the same place,
Throughout our universe of time
and space,
On I will travel, at my own pace,
Can you now
see it, in my face?
Never to
question how or why,
Upon this earth I find I,
Content and
amazed beneath earth's sky,
Yet soaring above white clouds on
high.
Hidden
within us there is a clue.
It looks like I, it looks like
you
For once we were one and that is true,
Now one of so
many amongst quite a few.
There is a
Love, there is a Light,
Forget any guilt, ignore any
fright,
Focus within on a wondrous sight,
The future is now
and it's ever so Bright.
A
boy who looked about fourteen approached them and spoke. It was
apparent he spoke very little English but was asking them what they
wanted. “Tea with milk” - that seemed to be understood.
“Two
soft boiled eggs and toast,” said Keith.
The
boy looked dumbfounded.
Al
decided to try to communicate through sign-language.
He
knew the local word for water was “Pani”.
So
he made a shape like a saucepan in the air with his hands, pointed
into the invisible top and said “Pani.”
The
boy nodded.
Feeling
good about that, Al took out a box of matches from his pocket and
made like to strike one and hold it under the imaginary now pot of
water.
The
boy smiled.
Al
made a shape like an egg in the air and pretended to place the
imaginary egg into the imaginary pot of imaginary hot water – he
signalled with two fingers and pointed to himself and Keith.
Meanwhile
Keith had come up with his own idea of how to order eggs.
He
was crouched down and started flapping his arms and making a noise
like a chicken clucking. He pretended to lay and egg and pick it up,
then a second egg. Then he pointed at Al and showed four fingers.
The
boy smiled and bowed and walked off.
Keith
shouted after him”And toast!”
A
short while later the boy returned. He motioned to Al to follow him.
Well
Al already knew that often several eating houses would share a
kitchen and that it could be even 100 yards away.
So
he followed the boy feeling confident he would see eggs and bread in
the kitchen.
Down
the stairs, turning right out of the door, up the market street
passed stalls selling cloths, about 50 yards or so.
The
boy stopped and pointed up a short alley. Al could see that it
opened on to some sort of yard, but he felt a little uneasy about
this. So he motioned the boy to go first, which he did.
When
they came out of the alleyway, Al saw that it was a courtyard with
closed wooden doors all around and two sets of wooden steps leading
up to a wooden veranda with more closed wooden doors. Al looked at
the boy and shrugged.
The
boy smiled and pointed at one of the doors up the stairs.
“Strange
place to have a kitchen!,” said Al; the boy obviously did not
understand.
The
boy waved Al towards the steps, so he ascended and walked along to
the door and knocked.
There
was no answer. He knocked again, with greater force.
Still
no answer. The boy was shouting something.
When
Al looked down he saw the boy seemed to be motioning Al to go in, so
he slowly opened the door.
He
was expecting to see a number of cooks at hot steaming stoves.
Instead
he saw a hole-in-the floor toilet!
Al
laughed out loud– so much for his eggs in hot water act – so much
for Keith's flapping and clucking!
So
much for boiled eggs on toast.
He
resigned himself to going back to the restaurant with nothing. He
didn't even feel the need to use the toilet..
But
as he and the boy were walking back up the street passed the stalls
selling cloth, the boy shouted something at the stall-holder and
gestured towards Al.
The
stall-holder motioned for Al to approach and suddenly produced a
telephone, on which he spoke. He handed the phone to Al.
A
voice on the other end said “Hello, Kann
ich Ihnen helfen, was Sie wollen?”
Al
recognised that as German. Something like “can I help what do you
want”. They had tried to teach him German in school for two years
but he had had no interest and failed the exams. But he inevitably
knew some words and that included the words for four, eggs, water and
bread.
“ Er
… vier Eier in Wasser mit Brod, bitte” - meaning 'four eggs in
water with bread, please.'
“Yah,
gut!”
Al
handed the phone back to the stall-holder who then listed and told
the boy.
The
boy laughed and pointed back up the street to the alley where the
toilet was again, then at Al.
As
they walked back to the restaurant the boy kept laughing - he was
making a clucking sound!
As
it turned out, after Al had returned to Keith and they had laughed
about the adventure, they were pleased to see the boy return with tea
along with four eggs and a pile of toast. Albeit the eggs were hard
boiled but the lads did not care.
