GRATITUDE - my speeches and poems, September 7th 2025 at Inner Space, Norwich

 WELCOME - I arranged this afternoon just for a chance for us to meet up somewhere that is nota funeral! I have a called the event gratitude so what does it mean to me.

To me true gratitude is a feeling, not just a thought like saying thanks. When I was child i had to write thank you letters to Uncles and Aunts that had sent me a Christmas or birthday present. If I hold the door open for somebody I expect them to say thanks. We say thanks to waitresses and bus drivers. In Spain I say "Grassias" and they answer "De Nada" - it's nothing.

I am not saying we should not say thanks like that, but it's not like true gratitude - like "Thank God that didn't happen".

It's not always easy to feel Gratitude.

I remember 16 or so months ago, saying "The Universe has treated me well".
Whether that was some higher power, passed soul, Karma or good luck, I never really felt Gratitude. I had a purpose - looking after Lesley. I had a great rented bungalow to live in. I had my health, my friends and some money.

I never felt Gratitude though.

I forgot that pendulums swing both ways. 

I lost Lesley when she passed - that cut deeply. 

I had to move house. 

Then I got ill. I caught covid in September.   Last October.  I went for two weeks to Italy with Jacqui and suffered a suspected heart attack due to physical and mental exhaustion. I was hospitalised for five days and ended up spending aaltogether ten weeks in Italy with my Goddaughter, Melissa, and her family

This year in April I went back to Italy again and suffered the loss of sight in my left eye due to a detached retina, and had an eye operation.   I spent another ten weeeks in Italy recovering before coming back by train.

And I did ask why? What had I done to deserve that?

It took a kick to make me feel gratitude for what I still had - my other eye, my friends and my health was nowhere near as bad as it is for many and I am getting better.

People ask "how are you?. I say "not too bad, or fine, even if i don't feel it". "It could be worse!" "I should say "Do you really want to know? Where shall I start. Well. when I was four years old " Then the story of the good and bad that happened.

The swing of the pendulum of events is inevitable - we are born and inevitably die and we need to try to focus on enjoying life in between and feeling Gratitude for or to whoever or whatever.

PREM RAWAT said QUOTE "Gratitude is the highest expression But it can only happen when there is truly a reason for it. If you’re not thankful…? Just by saying it, it’s empty. What are you thankful for in your life? And it’s, Oh, I am thankful for so many things. I am thankful for my family; I am thankful for my job; I am thankful for this, and I’m thankful for that. I have to say Really, are you thankful for being alive? Are you?

"How many times during the day do you say, My goodness! I am alive. Thank you for this life” END QUOTE

True Gratitude allows us to appreciate all that we have been given. Gratitude for my life and for your lives and the BREATH that keeps us going - and gratitude for knowing those that I have known and who are no longer with us.

I will read a few poems , RIVER ALIVE, I CAN SEE YOU and POSITIVITY

The first poem, River Alive, is the story of my life, and I wrote it whilst sitting besides a river near the village of Aru in Kashmir in 1972.

RIVER ALIVE!

Whether we laugh, or whether we cry,

the river of life goes rushing by,

down the hills and mountain sides,

into valleys, long and wide,

towards the ocean that is its goal,

it's journey travelled by our soul.

When I was but little boy,

the river rippled and dashed with joy,

and as I grew and longed to learn,

the river for the ocean yearned.

As young man travelled round the world,

the river twisted, turned and twirled,

eager to find it's resting place,

eager to travel in time and space.

And as the seeking man grew older,

the river found the bigger boulders,

but on it travelled without care,

it knew it's destiny's not there.

The rushing water's now quite slow,

the river old has nothing to show,

it's happiness is calm and deep,

as old man takes his final sleep.

The ocean that is never ending,

is to the sky it's waters lending,

to rain again on mountain top,

to make sure life's rivers never stop.

The rivers message lies in this

Ocean of Mercy, Peace and Bliss.

 

I CAN SEE YOU

 I can see your shadow in the sun.
I can see you, since time itself began.
I can see you on that empty chair.
I know you’re always there.

You may have passed from my direct sight.
You may have travelled to that divinest light.
Yet I see you rustling in the trees.
Yet I see you in the buzzing bees.

You went before me, travelled on.
Yet I hear you in every loving song.
I never thought so soon you'd go.
You never went, I truly know.

I can see you in my mind.
In my heart it's you I find.
My time will come, I'll see you there.
And peace and bliss I know we'll share.

 

POSITIVITY (2015)

Always to be found in this the same place,
Throughout our universe of time and space,
On I will travel, at my own pace,
Can you now see it, in my face?

Never to question how or why,
Upon this earth I find I,
Content and amazed beneath earth's sky,
Yet soaring above white clouds on high.

Hidden within us there is a clue.
It looks like I, it looks like you
For once we were one and that is true,
Now one of so many amongst quite a few.

There is a Love, there is a Light,
Forget any guilt, ignore any fright,
Focus within on a wondrous sight,
The future is now and it's ever so Bright.

A boy who looked about fourteen approached them and spoke. It was apparent he spoke very little English but was asking them what they wanted. “Tea with milk” - that seemed to be understood.

“Two soft boiled eggs and toast,” said Keith.

The boy looked dumbfounded.

Al decided to try to communicate through sign-language.

He knew the local word for water was “Pani”.

So he made a shape like a saucepan in the air with his hands, pointed into the invisible top and said “Pani.”

The boy nodded.

Feeling good about that, Al took out a box of matches from his pocket and made like to strike one and hold it under the imaginary now pot of water.

The boy smiled.

Al made a shape like an egg in the air and pretended to place the imaginary egg into the imaginary pot of imaginary hot water – he signalled with two fingers and pointed to himself and Keith.

Meanwhile Keith had come up with his own idea of how to order eggs.

He was crouched down and started flapping his arms and making a noise like a chicken clucking. He pretended to lay and egg and pick it up, then a second egg. Then he pointed at Al and showed four fingers.

The boy smiled and bowed and walked off.

Keith shouted after him”And toast!”

A short while later the boy returned. He motioned to Al to follow him.

Well Al already knew that often several eating houses would share a kitchen and that it could be even 100 yards away.

So he followed the boy feeling confident he would see eggs and bread in the kitchen.

Down the stairs, turning right out of the door, up the market street passed stalls selling cloths, about 50 yards or so.

The boy stopped and pointed up a short alley. Al could see that it opened on to some sort of yard, but he felt a little uneasy about this. So he motioned the boy to go first, which he did.

When they came out of the alleyway, Al saw that it was a courtyard with closed wooden doors all around and two sets of wooden steps leading up to a wooden veranda with more closed wooden doors. Al looked at the boy and shrugged.

The boy smiled and pointed at one of the doors up the stairs.

“Strange place to have a kitchen!,” said Al; the boy obviously did not understand.

The boy waved Al towards the steps, so he ascended and walked along to the door and knocked.

There was no answer. He knocked again, with greater force.

Still no answer. The boy was shouting something.

When Al looked down he saw the boy seemed to be motioning Al to go in, so he slowly opened the door.

He was expecting to see a number of cooks at hot steaming stoves.

Instead he saw a hole-in-the floor toilet!

Al laughed out loud– so much for his eggs in hot water act – so much for Keith's flapping and clucking!

So much for boiled eggs on toast.

He resigned himself to going back to the restaurant with nothing. He didn't even feel the need to use the toilet..

But as he and the boy were walking back up the street passed the stalls selling cloth, the boy shouted something at the stall-holder and gestured towards Al.

The stall-holder motioned for Al to approach and suddenly produced a telephone, on which he spoke. He handed the phone to Al.

A voice on the other end said “Hello, Kann ich Ihnen helfen, was Sie wollen?”

Al recognised that as German. Something like “can I help what do you want”. They had tried to teach him German in school for two years but he had had no interest and failed the exams. But he inevitably knew some words and that included the words for four, eggs, water and bread.

“ Er … vier Eier in Wasser mit Brod, bitte” - meaning 'four eggs in water with bread, please.'

“Yah, gut!”

Al handed the phone back to the stall-holder who then listed and told the boy.

The boy laughed and pointed back up the street to the alley where the toilet was again, then at Al.

As they walked back to the restaurant the boy kept laughing - he was making a clucking sound!

As it turned out, after Al had returned to Keith and they had laughed about the adventure, they were pleased to see the boy return with tea along with four eggs and a pile of toast. Albeit the eggs were hard boiled but the lads did not care.